The reason I wanted to join Chatty cafe is because I believe in the therapeutic benefits of just having a good old chin wag. It’s as simple as that.
Maybe you work from home on your Mac, start at 8am then look at the clock at 2pm and realise you haven’t spoken to another human being all morning…..Maybe you are going through a painful breakup.….Maybe you just want a quiet game of Scrabble with a stranger…just for fun.
Perhaps you just want a rant about last night’s episode of Corrie! Tee hee! Or maybe Emmerdale is more up your avenue! Or maybe you just want to listen, rather than BE listened to. The variables are endless. Endless. Nothing is linear.
The only thing I’d really be adamant about with Chatty Cafe is inclusivity. It doesn’t cost anything to flash a smile at a stranger – introvert or extrovert or somewhere in between. We welcome all people from any background.
Granted, I have had a very small handful of tricky client scenarios in the year I’ve been working for The Chatty Cafe Scheme. But not only are they few and far between, it only emphasises the importance to me of safe-guard training and STAR. It’s simple to remember and effective when a schism may arise.
- Situation: Someone may be behaving inappropriately for instance….? A guest?
- Task: (in the moment what do I do?)
- Action: (if a guest is causing a bit of a scene)
- Resolution: (the result of equilibrium again and duty of care to the other guests on your table)
As volunteers we aren’t trained councillors or psychologists. But we can apply decorum and tact in dealing with tricky conversations. Or perhaps offer some damage control.
This is why I laminated a A4 card with “useful numbers” on it. Like Domestic Abuse Charity Lines, The Samaritans, Out of Hours Medical Advice. Etc.
It’s just discreetly put between the salt and pepper pots on my table every week.
There are lines that cannot be crossed as volunteers, for example it’s difficult at times for me to not get emotionally involved, but you do learn as you go. To handle situations, as I say with decorum and appropriate reaction. STAR is personal my go-to mantra/
Stay calm is the ticket in sticky situations. But predominantly, you will enjoy your time, make your guests feel welcome and have a spring in your step on the walk back home. Even if you have touched only one or two people’s heart in your weekly session. It’s not altruism, it’s just being kind and giving a smidge back to your community. If, as a volunteer, you have even reached just one person a week – then it’s not a loss or a defeat or “nobody is reading my posters!” I used to metaphorically stamp my feet!
I sometimes wonder why are my flyers not up in the toilets of the doctors surgery anymore!! It’s a wasted emotion. Maybe they fell down? Maybe someone ripped them down? So what? You did your best. Worst things have happened at sea.
It’s not about numbers! It’s about just being there. Also, these things take time to build up. I had 8 people last week! Now it’s the hottest day of the year and I’m sat on my own with nobody, reading my book and writing this! Take the rough with the smooth. That’s my advice.
The staff at my Chatty Cafe – Teahive – are wonderful people (hey! I just got a free iced tea!) sometimes you have to take it. It’s like Christmas parties, sometimes all your friends turn up! Other times, there’s just a select few. Again, rough with the smooth and know you’re working for one of the best causes in the UK.
And you are helping people however big or little or drop in the ocean; the principle will always remain.
Jessica Mayne.
